Dear Julie, David, and Ted,

We arrived safe and sound in Hamburg this morning. Our flight was mercifully uneventful. We were met at the airport by Johannes, one of the promoters for tonight’s show. Despite having to get up at 6:30 in the morning to pick us up from the airport, Johannes was utterly polite, navigating us through the Hamburg subway system and answering all of our inane tourist questions. What is Hamburg known for? Why, it’s the biggest port city in Europe.

After a little nap at the place we’re staying (more on that later), we took to the streets. Like magnets we were drawn to the cutest cafe in the neighborhood. Everything in Germany is clean and efficient, including our hipster intuition. The cafe was overflowing with smartly dressed student types, and we fit right in, despite yelling at each other in English (in our bitchy gay voices) “I think soyamilch means soymilk!”

We’re back at the hotel now, which is not a hotel at all, but an apartment turned into an office, one of the rooms of which has three beds in it: one for each of us, conveniently. The apartment/office is cold, dingy, smells like an ashtray, and of course we are in love with it. A few moments ago we even entertained a visitor: Marco (the second promoter of tonight’s show) who stopped by to discuss the details of tonight’s schedule. Interestingly, we will be interrupting a queer dance party with our set. As Marco describes it, we will be set-up on a stage behind a theatrical curtain, and at an appropriate moment the DJ will lower the music and draw open the curtain and there we’ll be ready to play: ta da!

I’m attaching two photos. The first is of Marina, asleep in our room. The second is of Marina and Craig, sharing an intimate moment.

Love,

Greg